The Busy Leader's Dilemma: Achieving More by Slowing Down

I’ve been caught up in doing over the last month. For good reason. There are multiple challenging projects in progress, much going on personally as well as professionally, and many things that I want to accomplish in the coming months. But, my to-do list is out of control and growing at an alarming rate.

At times like this, it is easy to double down on doing. That’s the obvious choice. Work faster and harder to try to get things under control. You know that story. You’ve been there many times.

What gets lost in these moments is depth of being. It is crowded out by doing, by pace, by the adrenalin of achievement and the stress of striving. And it shows. It impacts the quality of the presence I show up with. It impedes my ability to tune into what is most wanted and needed. It constrains the flow of wisdom and inspiration. And it takes a toll on my creativity, energy, health and mental wellbeing, imperceptibly at first.

Here’s the thing though. While most view slowing down as a concession or a decision to achieve less. It need not be. It is a call to greater being that enables greater doing. We are human “beings”, yes. And we have roles to play in our families, communities and systems (organisations, industries, countries, regions). We can play those roles more effectively when we are better able to balance depth of being with doing. This is the beginning of inspired action. This opens the door to leveraged impact.

And the good news is it need not be about taking days or weeks out to meditate on the mountain top removed from the world. We can drop into depth of being in a micro-moment. A brief touching into the depth within you that is beyond the protective mechanisms of the personality is all it takes.

Here’s 3 things that may work for you.

1. Listen to the sounds furthest away from you for a few seconds. (This is a part of PQ Rep, developed by Shirzad Chamine. Ask me about joining the Positive Intelligence program if you’d like to learn more.)

2. Look within. Sense into that part of you that is beyond all parts. The part with no attachments, no desires, no need to protect or defend or project. (This is easier with practice, particularly if you are doing parts work - highly recommended.)

3. Lighten up. This seems contradictory., but is powerful. When we lighten up, by laughing at ourselves for example, we let go and allow the deeper, wiser aspects of ourselves to come forward.

Try it now, and let me know how you get on.

How can we be true to ourselves when who we are is constantly changing

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a person is authentic when they are true to their own personality, spirit, or character. This is a useful starting point, as it gives us a sense of what it might look like or feel like to be true to oneself: there’s a sense of inner and outer alignment.

However, the definition also hints at the complexity inherent in being authentic. We humans are complex creatures with personality, spirit and character, and these aspects aren’t always fully aligned! Who we are being varies from day to day based on our mood, the situation we find ourselves in, the aspects of our personality that are dominant on that day, our level of confidence, and more! Add to this the fact that we are growing and evolving, and it becomes even harder to know who or what it is that we are being authentic to. Or does it?

As with most things in life, there are levels. For simplicity, let’s think about who we are in 3 ways:

1. Who we are out in the world most of the time when interacting with others, i.e. our external facing personality.

2. Who we are when alone, in the safety and comfort of our home.

3. Who we are at our core, i.e. the purest aspect of ourselves unclouded by personality aspects.

We know from the work of Carl Jung and many others that the various parts of psyche are born through wounding. These wounds don’t need to be big and traumatic, they can be small or large challenges that give rise to the creation of parts who are concerned with the physical and emotional survival of the being. As they form, they surround and protect and to some extent cover over the core essence of the being. Through self awareness and tools such as Positive Intelligence, Voice Dialogue, Internal Family Systems etc, we can get in touch with these aspects of the psyche, integrate, heal and become more whole so that our essence can shine through. It is in going through the personality that we can release and transcend the personality. But that’s an aside. Let’s return to the topic of authenticity.

Most people wanting to be more authentic are aware that something about how they are showing up and engaging in the world isn’t in alignment with who they really are. They recognise the disconnect between their dominant outer facing parts and their inner parts. That’s a strong beginning, as doing the work of reconnecting to their inner parts can also lead them further into reconnecting to their core essence. And when we do that, that’s when the true power of authenticity can come to the fore. This is when we move beyond being true to our personality and character traits to being true to our essence, while allowing our essence to be optimally expressed with personality and character in ways that are true to us and appropriate to the circumstances and situations we find ourselves in. .